this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
