Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
