WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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