Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
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On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
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He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
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