He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
