I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
