In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
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