...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize
