You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
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I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
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you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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