The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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