I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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