i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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