when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
