As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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