Non-Jews are for practice
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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