There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
