What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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