IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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