It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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