His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
