Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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