why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
My boob is missing a layer of skin
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Randomize
