I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
