he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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