so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize
