im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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