I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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