Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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