Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
