Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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