I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
True college students do jello shots in the library
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
