Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
