wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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