thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
