that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
