marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
3 2 1 whiskey
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Randomize
