I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
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