His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Randomize
