No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
