So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
