My balls are so social today.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
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I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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