If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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