I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
