He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
