fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
