i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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