I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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