Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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