Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
