Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
