I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
My dick has a subreddit
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
