..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
