you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
they call him Oral-B. enough said
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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