Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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