if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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