I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
