Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
