if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
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