Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
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